So, I was listening to the radio this morning and the deejays were discussing how one of them approached a woman in the office and told her she looked tired. The other two deejays (one a woman) were appalled that he would be so stupid to say that to a woman. How true. I love so much when someone comes up to me and tells me I look tired. It just gives me so much energy and perks me up right away. HA! Thanks for the boost, buddy!
I've recently cut my hair pretty short. Not pixie short, but shorter than I wanted it. {*Note, I cut it myself and when I don't like the way it turns out, I just cut it until I can live with it.} Pretty much my entire life I've had short hair. For a better part of my childhood I rocked the Dorothy Hamill. It was awesome. I look back at those pictures and wonder, "why did my mother hate me..." Then there is that one time I went to the mall in Amarillo, Texas and got a mullet. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Pardon my french, but, seriously? I think my mom was smoking crack while I was a child. That or she was puttin' a little sumtin' sumtin' in her morning coffee and just didn't give a rat's hiney what I did with my hair. Ohmigosh...did I ever tell you about the time she let the alcoholic jeweler in town pierce my ears? I finally figured out why my neck always hurts. As a kid I learned to tilt my head just slightly so my earrings would look even. Again, thanks, Mom.
Oh, sorry...got off track...
Back to the short hair...
Anyhoo...my hair is shorter than I would like it and it's causing me to have to dress a little more girly than I normally like, for fear of being mistaken for a boy. That, coupled with the tired comment I heard on the radio, has inspired this blog with a little advice.
Here are a few obvious things you should never say to a woman:
1. Never tell a woman she looks tired. As I mentioned before...It makes us feel like the hour an a half we spent getting ready that day was wasted time and we would have been better off just rolling out of bed and leaving the house. You know...sometimes a woman looks tired, because she is. And sometimes she just generally feels like crappola because she's been working her butt off, and the last thing she wants to hear is that she looks crap, too. So, what I'm saying is, basically, if you say to a woman, "you look tired," you might as well have just said, "you look like sh*!".
2. If a woman or little girl has short hair NEVER say, "Oh...I thought you were a boy." (Same goes for boys with long hair, only "you look like a girl", duh.) My entire life I've heard that. I think that's why I had such an interest in make-up so young...because I knew it would distinguish me from the boys. I was always built like a bean pole (until I had kids, now I'm built like a tree trunk), so I didn't have curves on my side. It was all up to the clothes and the makeup. Funny though, I'm not a girly girl. I'm not a tomboy, either, but I don't like a lot of frills. So, I get ticked when I feel like I have to be frilly to be recognized as a woman. Seriously, I don't look anything like a boy, even without makeup. Unless that boy has boobs, hips, shaped eyebrows and wears Uggs or flip-flops with skinny jeans. In all honesty, it takes a very secure woman to have short hair. A secure woman, or a woman who actually wants to look like a man, in which case, it would be considered a compliment.
3. Never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you're absolutely sure she is. NEVER. EVER. EVER. Oh My Gosh. I'm not sure this one even needs an explanation. Just don't do it.
4. Never tell a woman she looks good in something she looks really horrible in. Tell her the truth. It might make her mad at first, but she'll thank you later. It's really better for everyone in the long run. Better for us, so we don't have to look at her, and better for her so she doesn't end up on my blog, or the People of Walmart website.
5. Never point out a woman's flaws. "Um, excuse me. You have a little something black on your chin. Oh...that's a hair. There's one on your neck, too." Nuff said. Oh, that reminds me. I need to turn on my wax warmer....
Now here a few things every woman likes to hear and will more than likely put a little spring in her step...
1. "You look like you've lost weight!" Everyone loves to hear this. Even if they don't, just say it and see what reaction you get. I guarantee her face will light up.
2. "You're so skinny! I can't believe you've had 3 kids!" I know. I know. I'm blessed. Blessed with a few good genes...and Spanx.
3. "You have a teenager?!?! You must have started young!" That's right. It might be because I wear my teenagers clothes and act like I'm 13, too...but I still like to hear it.
4. "What do you use on your skin? It's beautiful!" That would be Dove and wash cloth...and sleeping in my makeup because I'm too dang lazy to wash it off at night. Plus I hate when the water runs down my arms into the sleeves of my sweatshirt. So I just leave it and wash it off in the shower, but thank you!
I've heard all of these lines before a few times. Ok, just a couple. Ok, once...and it was me saying it to myself...while I was writing this blog, but, again...it's nice to hear...I don't care who says it.
I'm challenging you to choose any of these lines and use them this week...even if it's on the woman in the mirror and see what happens.
Anyhoo...The moral of the story? Think before you speak...or...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all, unless it's behind their back and in that case, call me......
Happy Spring Break!
