GASP! You Don't Know Me!

Hi. My name is Kimberly, and I'm sarcastic and snarky. Yep. That's me. If you've ever ready anything I've written, you would know that about me. Sarcastic...and snarky. And I like it...but if you don't, stop reading my stuff and block me, because I'm sure as heck not going to change now!! It's who I am. I have an opinion and I like to express it from time to time. Sometimes I make observations and sometimes when I write about it, I like to add a little flare to make people chuckle a little. Sue me. Then there are the people who apparently don't get my sense of humor, and that's fine...but if you know me AT ALL, you would know that I never mean any harm. And if you don't know that about me, then I'm really sorry you feel that way, because you're missing out on a lot of fun. 

At any given time, you could hear me say, "I need a drink" when actually, I rarely drink. Sometimes I have a few sips of wine, but never an entire glass. Sometimes I say that "I want to sell my children" or "hang them up by their toes", when in reality, I would just like them to go to their rooms and be quite for 15 minutes so I can think straight. Since I became an aunt/mother I have always told the kids they "were ugly"...when in reality they know I think they're the most beautiful human beings on this earth. I also like to say I'm arranging marriages for my girls and I've already picked their grooms, but I haven't really. Well, I have picked who I'd like their husbands to be, but I won't force the issue. These are all fine examples of my sense of humor. 

The reason I write is to express what I'm thinking. I like to say that my brain is barfing through my fingertips on to the keyboard. I'm anxious and I worry and I stress. One of my most used coping mechanisms (next to Xanax, of course) is goofing off and making light of certain situations. Sometimes...like today, it comes back to bite me in the butt...like when someone takes things a little too seriously. That's when it takes all the fun out of it. Takes the wind right out of my sails. 

For the record. I do have a heart. A pretty big one. But I like to have fun, too. So if I say something that offends you, think about it from my point of view, as twisted as it is, and you might just laugh. If not, well...I feel sorry for you...and please excuse yourself from my postings, because I have no plans to change any time soon.

Thanks. Enjoy the rest of your day.