Hi, I'm Kimberly, The Screaming Banshee

I know I've blogged about this before, but I'm going to again, because it's still bugging me...and probably always will, but sometimes, you just need to vent. So...here's my vent....

Do you ever fell like all you ever do is YELL? Oh. My. Gosh. I really do try to start out sweet and quiet, but after repeating myself at least 5 times, over the course of an hour, that sweet has become sour and the quiet has become the sound of a banshee making ones ears bleed.

Yesterday, I think I nearly got arrested. I was picking Mia and Ella up from school and I was sitting in the drive-thru pick-up. (Note the "drive-thru" part, meaning one is not suppose to sit for extended periods of time in the "drive-thru pick-up area". And one's children need to hurry their little butts up when mom is sitting there!) They walked out to the car, very s-l-o-w-l-y and as I was buckling in Ella, Mia opened her door and just stood there and was yapping about something, about what, I have no idea, because she talks so fast I can't usually understand her, and I told her to put her backpack in the back and get in the car. "Ok, Mia...you can tell me in a minute. Put your backpack in the car and get in." And she just kept talking. And talking. And talking. AND TALKING....I was trying so hard to restrain myself. I told her a couple more times to get in the car, but she Just. Kept. Talking. Finally, I leaned in the car and through my teeth I very sternly said, "MIA!! Put your freakin' backback in the car and get in!! OH. MY. GOSH!!" Then I turned around to get in my own seat and growled, rather loudly and probably quite frighteningly, and just as I did it, there was a dad...right there...on the sidewalk next to my car...which was like right in my face. He had this look of horror on his face. I smiled very pleasantly and laughed and said, "Oh gosh...she's won't stop talking and get in the car. (hehehehehe)" Then I sat down and said, "Oh, shi....." Gracie, being un-phased by my tirade, said, "What? What did you do?" She didn't see or hear any of it...which I'll get to later...Then I thought, "Oh, come on, dude...I know you've lost it a couple times in your parenting lifetime. Unless you're a freak or on some HEAVY medication...I KNOW you have. So, DON'T JUDGE ME." Then I stuck my tongue out at him and, since Mia was finally safely in the car, I sped away. Ok, I didn't physically stick my tongue out at him, but I really, really wanted to. And I didn't speed away because I was still in a school zone and the CHP a little sweet on the area.

I'm tired, people. So, so tired. Tired of yelling. Tired of me yelling at them to do something and them responding, "in a second...," or "let me finish this first...," or, my all time fave, "as soon as this episode/movie is over." I'm certain that when I talk, all they hear is the adults from the Charlie Brown movies. And their responses are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I immediately throw my hands over my ears and crumple in pain.

Then, yesterday, a miracle happened. It was a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!! I told Gracie to unload the dishwasher and this was her response, "In a sec....I mean, OK!" And she promptly jumped up and walked into the kitchen, where I was once standing, but was now on the floor, because I had fainted.

I was so happy!!! Then I got mad because I got so happy that one of my kids actually did something that I told them to do, the first time, without me yelling. What is happening here? Where did I go wrong along the way? I would think that they would be sick of hearing my irritating screaming voice and want to avoid it at any costs, but apparently that is not the case, and could be one or all of the following: 1. They think it's soothing. 2. They think it's funny to piss me off. 3. It's more like a dog whistle and humans can't hear it. 4. It's just background noise to them and they tune it out.  5. They're lazy and they Just. Don't. Care.

I find that I rarely have a normal conversation with the kids because after screaming non-stop at them, I just really don't feel like "talking". I'm always in a pissy mood and the only time I enjoy them is when I look at them in pictures. Ok...that's a bit of an exaggeration, but sometimes it feels that way.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that feels like this. I love my children more than anything, but I'm not going to lie...they make me CRAY!!!

Now, once again, I gladly, and formally, accept your nomination for Mother of the Year.

P.S. I'm going to proof this about 20 times. Then I'm going to publish it...and then I'm going to back and read it again and find places where I've left out words and used horrible punctuation. But guess what...I'm NOT PERFECT. I know. It's a shock. Now pick your chin up off the floor, comment, and share it with all your friends anyway. Someday I'll have the time to write, have my sister edit, then publish, but that day is not today.

P.P.S. I was asked to paint a table for a LIVE auction that happened today and I'm proud to say that it sold for $175!!! WOO HOO!!! I paid $15 for the thing!! Holla! I didn't get any money for it, but I got the satisfaction of knowing my handiwork brought in $175 for the Salvation Army! I'm such a good samaritan (she said patting herself on the back...)!