"Reducing the Risk" My Arse!

A few weeks ago, Gracie brought home a permission slip for a course to be held during her PE class called "Reducing the Risk: A Guide to Preventing Teen Pregnancy, STD's and Aids,"...or something stupid and long like that. I signed it. I read the entire slip before I signed it. But I signed it. Every kid that brought back the signed permission slip was put into a drawing for an iPad mini! Um, hello!! Who wouldn't sign it?!?! I'm kidding...that's not why I signed it. I signed it because I suffered through what seemed like 12 years of sex ed when I was in school, and she was irritating me, so I think it was some sub-conscience sick punishment I was giving her.

We've had "the talk", and she's pretty well informed...I think, anyway. I mean, I did what any loving, caring parent would do and I told her that if she has sex before marriage, she will get pregnant and die and the boy will also die...by her father's hand. And all that chaos could have been prevented if she'd just said NO.

Again...kidding. But honestly, I didn't see the harm in her taking the class. She knows about sex and our beliefs on the subject: No sex before marriage. I realize, and she does, too, that, unfortunately, that is not the case for many kids and the only way they will be educated is through a class like this at school. So...here we are...."Reducing the Risk".

Every day after class I get a little taste of what it's like for her. Once the teacher asked to give examples of what would make you NOT say no and a stupid boy said, "BOOBS!" She was MOR-TI-FIED! I laughed and said, "Honey...he's male. Get use to it....boys will say stuff like that for the rest of your life." She laughed it off. Then I started thinking of this as a learning experience for her. Not so much her learning how to reduce the risk for herself, but exposing her to people that aren't PRUDES like us. And learning how to let it roll of her back instead of freaking out and curling up in a ball, rocking back and forth, and crying. (Yeah, she's been that sheltered.)

Up until now...it seemed harmless. Then, the other day she informed that she had a homework assignment...to compare condom and spermicidal foam prices at two different stores. At first, because I was distracted when it came up, I said, "Oh, I'll do it for you. No big deal." Then forgot about it. Then she brought it to me last night and said, "I still need to do this...", then it hit me and I was like, "wait...what the holy helllllllo kitty is happening here?!?!?" Um...NO!!!! She will NOT, nor will I, do this. Neither one of us have any reason what so ever to need to know the price of condoms or any other birth control for that matter. So I said, "um...talk to your dad about it...." Then the shitaki mushrooms hit the fan!!! I believe his words were, "OH, HELL NO!!!' 

We didn't want her to take a hit on her grade and since I signed the permission slip, I felt stupid writing the note and contradicting myself. I was afraid it said something in there that I missed and I didn't want it to come back and bite me in the boo-tay, so Tim wrote the note. He spent, seriously, an hour writing it. It was, I think, 3-4 sentences, but it was well written. I couldn't have said it better myself. Well, actually, I could have, but I'm not complaining because I didn't have to write it. Anyhoo...she has the class tomorrow and I'm curious to find out what is going to happen...

Now I'm thinking...what the heck are they teaching our kids?!?! I realize that no matter how much you teach/preach abstinence, there will be some kids that do it anyway, and those that do, should be informed of the consequences. HOWEVER....Teaching them where to find the best deal on condoms is taking it a little too far. And I don't know...maybe even a little encouraging. If they can work up the nerve to compare prices, then it's one step closer to working up the nerve to buy them. The teacher said to take their book and then people would know it was something for school. So, if you want to buy some, just take your book, get a couple different kinds and tell the cashier you're 'so embarrassed', but it's for school. Then, wham, bam, thank you ma'am...you've got your self 2 packages of condoms "for school", wink wink. 

Maybe I'm a little old fashioned when it comes to that stuff. I have no problem telling my kids they will die or become horribly disfigured if they have sex before marriage. "Hey, kid...you know if you have sex before you're married, your wiener will shrivel up and fall off, right?" And little girl, "Having sex only once will get you pregnant and you will never sleep again and your cute perky boobs that got you in this mess in the first place are going to start sagging and pretty soon you'll be tucking them into your waist band. Oh, and you'll pee a little every time you cough, sneeze, or laugh really hard."

Oh, and don't even get me started on the emotions that go along with sex. Sure, you can prevent pregnancy and STD's, but there is no possible way to prevent the emotions associated with sex. It's just NOT POSSIBLE. And in some cases, the emotional effect is far worse than the physical one. I bet they don't teach that, now, do they?

I understand the premise of the class. I really do, but come on!! Use your head heart!