Ok...I'm not as grumpy this morning, so I thought I would try to counteract my grumbling post from last night with a happy post today. Here it goes...
1. I love when there is a CHP sitting across the street from the school with his radar gun out, clocking people as they come into the school zone at 55mph...and he catches them. Sorry, Melissa Graham, but I do. He was there this morning. I wanted to park behind him so I could shield his car from unsuspecting drivers, but I didn't. Then after I dropped the girls off, I went back that way to see if he had stopped anyone...and truth is, it was completely out of my way to go that way. I actually had to double back to get to my in laws, but it was worth it.
2. I love when I drive by, what I'm pretty sure is a crack house, and there are cop cars there and all these losers lined up against the fence. Like with the CHP, I'd like to just park across the street and watch. I totally should have been a cop, however, the one time I went on a "ride along" with my brother-in-law, Bill (only the coolest deputy sheriff in all of Fresno County!), I nearly pooped my pants. At the time he was patrolling Shaver Lake and he stopped some guy for jumping wakes or something and I seriously got the worst nervous stomach ever. So that, and the fact that I tend to be a little emotionally unstable, might hinder my ability to enforce the law effectively, but a girl can dream.
3. I love my "sissy". She's married to Bill. Ok, that's not why I love her. I love her because she's my "sissy". I love her because we're so much alike it's scary and we both hate that people actually refer to their sisters as "sissy". I love that when we're in the same room and our kids yell for us, that they can't tell who's who. I love that she's a fanatic about apostrophes and grammar and I wish she could be my full time editor. And due to my udder disregard for proper punctuation, I'm pretty sure she does, too. And I love that she always wants to be mentioned in my blog. Does this make you happy, Sissy?
4. I love blogging and updating my facebook status about every 15 minutes. Don't lie. You know you like it, too.
5. I love my family. Go on...everyone together now...AAAWWWWWW....I know. Deep. It should be number one, but it's just not that funny. But what kind of person would I be if I didn't mention my family. So, for the record, this was just a courtesy mention.
6. I love my vitamins. This is weird, because they actually tend to make me want to barf, and occasionally I do, much to my children's dismay, but I have energy when I take them. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that when I don't take one, I could literally sleep all day long. They also make me a little more regular, which is something I desperately need, because other wise...well....
7. I love talking about my digestive health and I tend do that a lot. And you all know you love it, too. I'm not sure why this is such a taboo topic, I mean, everybody poops. And if you don't, well...please don't breathe on me.
8. I love mobile devices, i.e. my laptop, my iPhone and my iPad. I love that I can take them with me wherever I go. Weather it be on a trip to Disneyland, the beach or...yep...the bathroom.
9. I love beautiful men. Josh Dumhel and Zac Efron come to mind. Oh, and Tim Dodson....
10. I love Xanax. Whoever discovered this medication deserves a hug. Seriously. It makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a sunny meadow full of wildflowers, barefooted, in a flowing sundress, not even noticing my fat arms jiggling or my belly flopping me in the face as I frolic. Have you ever taken it? It really does make you feel like that, but if you're not careful, you might actually wake up in that sunny meadow and wonder how the heck you got there. Don't judge me. I have really bad anxiety and I need it from time to time, ok? I now refer to it as my best friend, but I use to call it my heart medication, because my anxiety was so bad that when my heart would start racing, for no apparent reason, and I would have to take it to calm down. I now use it strictly for recreational use. Oh good gracious!! I'm kidding!!!! Take a chill pill...or better yet...a Xanax.
11. I love my one of kind, custom tumbler made by Denise Douglas of Decals by Denise (http://www.decalsbydenise.com/ You're welcome, Denise). I drink lots and lots of water (at least it LOOKS like water to the untrained eye, i.e. my mother-in-law), and I love being able to just drink without having to open a bottle or worry about spilling it all over me. Plus, you can't smell the "water" when the lid is on. Oh, I'm kidding again!! I really do just drink water out of it, but on one of my grumpy days, not-water has crossed my mind.
12. I love when I freak out about an inappropriate song on the radio and then later get the song "Hurts so Good" or "Jose Cuervo" stuck in my head...and realizing that I sang those great songs as a kid. I remember singing "Hurts So Good" in the car and my mom telling me it didn't sound very nice, which of course, I had no clue why...so I make up my own words, "Looks so Good. Put your hair in a ponytail. Dun-dun. Looks so good." And um, that Jose Cuervo one...remember that? "Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine. I like to drink you with a little salt and lime. Did I kiss all the cowboys? Did I shoot out the lights? Did I dance on the bar? Did I start any fights?" Ohmigosh. I remember thinking that was the weirdest song...why was this GUY singing about another guy and kissing cowboys. Oh...to be young and naive again.
13. I love the wonders of modern medicine. I'm currently saving up for my smart lipo.
14. I love when I read my blog to Tim and he laughs out loud.
15. I love being random. "Really, Kimberly? We hadn't noticed," said all 27 of her readers.
The End.
**Yeah, Yeah...there are 15, but I had to make sure the good out weighed the bad by at least 2.**
4 comments:
You know what really freaked me out for second?? Was the fact that i thought you were being TOTALLY serious about the Xanax. But then i read the last line or whatever and was like.. UGHHH. she got me. ): hahaha. on top of most of the things in the blog are, jokes. haha. i'm so gullible sometimes.
Your blog is hysterical. I laugh out loud when I read it.
Thanks Erin! Share me with all your friends, k? Thanks. ;)
Um....thanks for letting me be a small part of a)making you happy and b)helping to provide blog material.
For the record I DID see my friend there this morning. I smiled and waved as I slowly rolled by at precisely 25mph. I was really hoping I would get to see him catch some poor, unsuspecting sucker. Maybe tomorrow...
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