The Greatest Commercial...EVER

I just saw the greatest commercial EVER. Have you seen it? The one with the woman sitting at an outdoor table talking about how great Tide Sport is for washing her yoga pants. She says she uses her yoga pants for everything. "Hiking. Biking. Pilates." Then her friend says, "Brooke..." and she says, "Ok, I wear yoga pants because I'm too lazy for real pants." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I love, love, love, love, love this!! Did I mention I LOVE this? And do you know why I love this so much? Because it's true of 75% of the people dressed in work out clothes!! (I know I'm about to offend some of my real gym rat friends, but know I'm not in anyway referring to you.) But, I could swear those people didn't come from the gym like they'd like you to believe. I think it's all an elaborate hoax. Maybe they have every intention of hitting the gym...right after a quick shopping trip to the outlet mall and a bowl of never-ending pasta from the Olive Garden with the girlfriends...Or...maybe they just want to look like a gym rat. I don't even have a gym membership, but I could look like a gym rat, too. I could wake up, throw on some yoga pants, a sports bra and tennis shoes and run errands in all my 'day-before stench', 'bed-head hair', and yesterday's left over makeup and tell everyone I run into, "Oh, gosh. Excuse me. I know I smell horrible, but I just finished a super intense workout and a 5 mile run, but had to run a couple errands before I go home and shower."

I realize that getting healthy is "in" right now. And with getting healthy comes exercise and with exercise comes workout clothes, but must we wear our workout clothes all over town? And what happen to wearing an oversize tee and sweats while exercising? Who was the yahoo that invented spandex workout wear?!?!

Ok, I get that yoga pants are comfortable and easy to move in. They also allow room to grow. And, I can neither confirm nor deny that I own a pair, but when if I wear them, I'd most likely be wearing flip flops and would readily admit that the closest I've been to the gym in years is at the Italian restaurant located in the same building. And it's also possible that the reason I'm wearing them is because all my jeans may or may not be too tight from eating at the said Italian restaurant located in the same building.

I would just like to thank Tide for shedding light on the fact that yoga pants are being grossly misused and hopefully put an end to the abuse of innocent yoga pants everywhere. I already use Tide, but now it has a special place in my heart.

Here's a link to the commercial...it's officially my favorite...EVER.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QkgRTtUgu8

My New Motto

A friend posted this on facebook today and I've got to have it!

But mine should say,

"HAPPY MOMS HAVE

STICKY FLOORS,

DIRTY LAUNDRY,

GROSS TOILETS,

UNMADE BEDS,

DOG HAIR EVERYWHERE,

A FULL LIQUOR CABINET,
AN Rx OF XANAX,

AND KIDS ADDICTED TO TV."

Big Time C~Rush!

As some of you may know, I took Mia, Gracie and Gracie's friend, Tori, to a Selena Gomez/Big Time Rush concert the other night. It was seriously the best time I've had in a long time! Why? Because they serve alcohol there. Haha! Not really. Wait, I mean, they really do serve alcohol, but that's not why I had the best time (but it didn't hurt, either! And don't worry...we had a hotel within walking distance).

 Yummy, yet very STRONG lemon drop and it should have been strong 'cause it cost $9!!

First of all, we knew ahead of time that we had good seats...we just didn't know HOW good.
  Section 603, Row F, on the aisle.

Waiting patiently...

They were a little excited....

Hum....I wonder why?!?!

Um, hello? Do you see these guys? I must say...I'm glad I did.

Look at my new boyfriend...

This is James. Hello, James (she said in her sexiest 'come hither' voice). The biggest issue I will have getting James to be my boyfriend (besides the fact that I'm old enough to be his teenage mom...and I'm married with three kids), is that Ella LOVES him. She says all the time that she LOVES James. He's her boyfriend and she's going to marry him. I might be ok with that. Wait, would it be weird if at their wedding I requested a slow dance with the groom? Is that normal?

There he is again. Ok...sorry...I got distracted...

Moving on...

Look how close we were!! They were so amazing...er, I mean, the seats. The seats were amazing.

Big Time Rush, from left to right: Logan (Gracie's boyfriend), James, Kendall and Carlos.
*Actually, while I was editing this, Gracie read it and mentioned that they're all her boyfriends.*

Oh, look, here's James again.

This is Logan. Gracie wants to marry him, and again, I think I'd be ok with that.
She actually says she wants to marry them all, but I told her we didn't practice polygamy, and she had to settle on just one.

*Note Kendall in the background with his Dodger hat. Yet one more reason to love these boys.
For the record, they're not boys. They're all over 20. That makes it a little less creepy, in my head anyway.

Here they were singing directly to me.

Ok, well, they were doing a little song for all the parents, but I was only one of a few that stood and screamed when they said they were going to do one for the parents. Here's what I don't get...they sang "I Wanna Hold Your Hand". Isn't that a Beetles song? John Lennon was dead before I was born. Well, maybe I was 7 when he died, but still...They should have done a New Kids on the Block song or something. Although, I must admit that I was a little flattered that they wanted to hold my wrinkly old hand...and I'd probably let them. And I'm not even kidding when I say that James looked at me and waved during the song. I don't blame him. I was looking pretty hot in my new aviators.

 

Here is Logan when he ran down our aisle, right next to Gracie.

That hand on his shoulder is Tori's. When he came back by, she touched his abs. Hahahahaha!! Kendall came by, too. Gracie touched their armpits. Nice.

Mia, in awe....

She also wants to marry them all. Starting to think I might have some stiff competition.

Tim, can we keep them?!?!

Needless to say...

Selena Gomez was adorable, too. But I don't especially want to bring her home. Actually, I would, so I could feed her a sandwich, and a big, fat, juicy steak...

This little girl was more interested in her Pizza than Selena.

Selena could have used a slice of pizza.

Is that a microphone stand or her leg? Hard to tell...(said the woman, who at 19, was size 00. Hard to believe, I know, but true.)

Look how cute they are.

This is one just to show you how close we were...and I have a crappy camera.

At the end she brought out a bunch of VERY excited kids to sing and dance the last song with her. It was sooo cute!

*Note the little boy in the yellow shirt. It says, "Selena's Future Husband". His dad had one that said, "Selena's Future Father-in-Law". That is night those kids will never forget!!

Or these kids...

Don't they look like they're having fun?!?!

Next up? Big Time Rush at the Big Fresno Fair and this time, I'm taking Ella. She might be my ticket, er, I mean, OUR ticket back stage.

My kids drive me nuts, but if it weren't for them, I wouldn't get to do these things. Well, I could, but it would just be weird. Like this guy...

...who was singing every word to every Selena Gomez song, even the ones that I have never heard...and I thought I'd heard them all. And say what you want about me, but it's way creepier for him to be crushin' on Selena than it is for me to be crushin' on James....isn't it?

**A special thank you to Tim for buying us these tickets! It was the best birthday present these girls ever had! They'll never forget it. Thank you for working so hard and being so good to us and spoiling us all rotten. We love you, Timmy!! (I know, mush mush.)**

This Just Boggles My Mind

I wonder if I'll see these kids at trailer park some day?

http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/113170/millennials-make-millions-wsj

Multi-Tasking Kills Brain Cells

No, seriously. I read somewhere that multi-tasking actually kills brain cells. And really...it explains so much.

As a woman, that's just what we've always done, since the beginning of time. Men get up, go to work, come home, and watch TV. Sometimes I guess they eat and watch TV at the same time. Or play with themselves (sorry, but it's true) and watch TV at the same time. But is that really considered multi-tasking? And these days, with the wonders of DVRs, they don't even have to do that. They can pause the TV while they eat (or whatever else it is they're doing) and just have to focus on one thing at a time.

Not us ladies. Oh no. For some bizarre reason, we feel it necessary to sit on every committee the PTA has to offer, work in all 6 of our kids classrooms and maybe even a niece or nephew's, have our children involved in every sport and activity our city has to offer, fund raise, fund raise, fund raise, make sure our children have perfect grades, keep the house spotless, have a healthy dinner on the table every night, hold down a full time job OUTSIDE of the house, and keep our husbands happy (if you know what I mean~wink wink).

Why is that? WHY?!?! Who said we had to do all that? Do we think we'll be considered a flake or lazy if we don't do it? Peer pressure? What? What is it? Tell me please, because at this very moment, if I don't get a reasonable answer, I'm about to drop everything I'm doing and do absolutely nothing. Actually, that is what I'm doing (ok, technically I'm writing this blog at this very moment, but usually I'm doing nothing). I get so overwhelmed with all the responsibility that I just shut down.

Right now I'm the co-head of the PTO walk-a-thon committee, the secretary for our church's women's group, putting together the Mustang Marketplace (a craft type show at the school), helping with youth activities at church, on the Welcome committee at church, selling jeans, trying to keep this big house I HAD to have clean, keep my children entertained because they're SO BORED (OMGee, Mom! I'm so bored and there's nothing to eat in this house. Gosh.), keep the laundry up, oh, and trying NOT to worry about my parent's well-being (long story) and figure out how I can make myself a little more available to them. And that's just this summer. Wait until school starts...then I'll have to add the volunteering in the classrooms and extra-curricular activities, among other things.

I know I'm forgetting something. And do you know why I'm forgetting it?!?! It's because all this multi-tasking in killing my brain cells. Yup. Between that and pregnancy (because I read somewhere that pregnancy kills them, too) we should barely be functioning. Isn't it true that the more you do, the more you forget? I know it's true for me. It's impossible to keep up with it all and be effective while doing it. Therefore....I just don't keep up and I'm certainly not effective!

I listed all the things I'm "doing" right now, but here's my reality...
The PTO walk a thon letter has yet to be revised and was suppose to go out this summer, the minutes from the last meeting for the CWC have yet to be typed and honestly, I'm not even sure where my notes are...and there's a meeting this Saturday, the Mustang Marketplace is currently dead in the water, I can't remember the last time I actually helped with anything youth related, I'm pretty sure the last time I was suppose to be at the welcome center at church I was out of town, the only jeans I've sold lately were to myself, the house is...well, don't just drop by unexpectedly, the kids have been plastered to the TV for the last week straight, we're digging through the dirty laundry to find things to wear (don't worry...I do make sure we have clean undies), and my parents, well...I'M A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER!!!!

You know what I need to do? Say NO. Gasp! Yeah...I said it. NO. Let me say it again, because it felt so good...NO!! Oh baby. That was nice....I really needed that.

Have you noticed how older women repeat themselves over and over and have horrible memories? It's because they never said NO. They did everything for everyone and nothing for themselves. Ladies, if we don't stop this madness now, we'll end up the same way. Let's revolt! I'll add that to my list of things to do, right under "wash the car" and "volunteer at the local soup kitchen".

Now, I better get moving around here. I have lots to do...I think. I can't really remember.


**I love that I read that article and it gave me something to write about, but it does leave me to wonder...who on earth decided to research the effect of multi-tasking on the brain? And who funded that research? Just curious.**

Just For My Sissy

I just typed an entire blog about how tense I am lately (you know, the whole jaws of life to pry open my jaw and remove the chair from my butt kind of tense). Then I thought it was stupid, so I deleted it. So, unfortunately, this is all you're getting tonight...but I did this for my sissy, who is sick of checking my blog and seeing my last post, "Trailer Trash".

Lynnette...this blog's (or lack there of) for you. (Shoot...I didn't I use the apostrophe correctly, did I? Muahahaha! But in my defense, I was trying to sound like the Budweiser commercials. FAIL.)

Are you happy now? I know it's not much, but it's something different and don't worry...I'll have some funny stuff coming up...just trying to come up with code names, so I can protect the innocent in future posts. Then my first sentence is going to be "Some of the names in this blog have been changed to protect the innocent." Doesn't that sound super cool? Gosh...I can hardly wait to publish that one. Ok, not really. I'm tired now, so I can wait.

Nighty night!

Trailer Trash? Oh Yeah...

I love RV'ing, but every time I go somewhere I realize that it takes all kinds of people to RV.

You have your $300 k+ motor homes that are usually an older, retired couple that spend most of their time traveling, or some young dude and his family that have money coming out their ears from either daddy, or the .com he started when he was 12 and sold for $800 billion when he was 16. And they usually have an H3 as their tow car. No Saturn Vue like us common folk. No way. Nothin' but the best, baby. Nothin' but the best.

Then you have your toy haulers. These might also be owned by some young dude that has money coming out his nether region, but also likes to play on the dunes. These range in size from big to gi-freakin'-normous! I saw one today that looked like it was 50' long. I'm not kidding....they had a Freightliner to pull it. {{Really? A Freightliner? So you just unhook your trailer and drive a Freightliner to town, because that's real practical.}} And there is so much room in those things that they can haul just about anything. Someone has a couch at their campsite. A COUCH! Come on! (Ok, I'm secretly jealous, but shhhh!! Don't tell anyone.)

Then you have your renters. These are often Asians or the white family that thinks they're being super adventurous by renting an RV and taking to the open road in a class C motor home that says, "1-800-RENT ME" in huge letters across the side. These people don't know how to drive one and they certainly don't know how to park one. It's a little comical to watch, actually. They pull in and out of the spot a good 10 times before they finally just settle on being crooked and 10 feet away from the hookups. That movie "RV" with Robin Williams was based on facts, people.

Then you have your just plain ol' white trash. I have never seen so many tattooed women in muscle shirts in my life. I think I'm one of about 3 women (Me, Ally and Renee) here who aren't tattooed! No, really. That doesn't even surprise you, does it? I'm not talking about a little ankle tattoo or a tramp stamp. No. I'm talking tattoos all over their arms and their legs. And muscle shirts? Really? There are just way too many things wrong with that. But, If they're not dressed like a man, then they're wearing super short shorts and a tube top, have crazy kool-aid her (FYI: That wasn't a typo. Look up "My Push Up Bra will Help Me Get My Man" on youtube and you'll understand), and piercings everywhere. Eyebrows. Nose. Lips. Cheeks. Probably lots of other places that we can't see. And the guys with their pants around their @$$ and their hats crooked on their heads or pulled down past their eyebrows and ears.

And do these people work? From the looks of them, I can't imagine they are capable of holding down a decent job. I'm sorry if this offends you, but honestly, it's hard to trust your bank teller when they have holes in their ears the size of a golf ball and a tattoo across their face. Um, hello, but putting on a button up shirt , khakis and tie does not an honest-looking person make! But I'm not judging...

Anyway...My friend, Ally, staying in her super cute vintage trailer, said she had some people next to her one night that smoked pot all day and all night. At one point she said there was a couple gettin' it on at the car and later one guy sleeping in the truck bed...that they literally made into a bed, air mattress and all. Nice. Of course, after a while she didn't really care what they were doing and strangely started craving brownies, but that's neither here, nor there.

Gone are the days when the campgrounds were filled with young, happy families, enjoying some quality time together in their RVs. Apparently now it's a past time for anybody and everybody, if you like that sort of thing.

Some people don't. Like my friend, Kimberly, who mentioned in her blog that she doesn't get the whole RV'ing thing. And I get that. But here's my argument: It really shouldn't be considered camping, because we have an entire house on wheels. Full kitchen, 3/4 bath, 4 bedrooms , dining area and a family room. (Ok. Ok, so the dining and family room are also considered bedrooms, but you get what I'm saying.) We also have running water, electricity, cable, indoor toilet. And the best part? I get to sleep on my own sheets every night and not wonder who, or what's been going on in the sheets before I got there! Yeah, I have to make my own bed, but at least I know that whatever that stain is on the sheet was from someone in my family and not some random hooker doing God knows what...But that's just my opinion.

I was going to go around and take pictures of the various types of RVs in here, but my battery died on my camera and I forgot the charger.  Shoot. It was going to be awesome, too.

We fall somewhere in the middle of all this business...We have a class C motor home, that is ours (no "1-800 RENT ME" pasted on the side). If you don't know what that is, it's the ones that have the van cab in front and the camper looking thing on the back. Laugh if you will, but it's perfect...for us. And it's not little. It 31' feet long, with 2 slide outs, thank you very much. And we love it. So, if that makes me trailer trash, so be it. But no worries. I will not be getting a tattoo just to fit in.

**Ok, I've had one hell of a week. You know about the stitches...but the night she got her stitches out, she developed a fever, which we later found out was most likely strep. Oh, and I didn't mention the headache and vomiting she had going on, either....for 4 days now. I have to say this...while this trip has SUCKED the BIG one, at least I wasn't cooped up at home and unable to get outside because of the 107* heat. I was here, in the BEAUTIFUL weather, in my "vacation home".So, please excuse the randomness and any typos. I'm functioning on very little sleep. (LOL! I've always got an excuse, don't I?) Oh, and the first sentence is a little misleading because I only ever go to Pismo and occasionally the mountains.**

Proud Mama

So, the 4th was good. We hung around here all day and then watched the fireworks on the beach. Tim got up at 4 o'clock this morning and headed home...and took Gracie with him. She was bored. Oh, she was soooo bored. She was bored to death. Ohmigosh she was so incredibly bored. That's all I've heard for the last few days and I wanted to give you all a little taste of it, too.

But she's happy now. When she left she didn't take anything with her. It's like 107* at home and she has no shorts. She had to hang with G'pa today and he had to take her to get something. He took her to Kmart (Don't judge. It was my idea. They have super cute Selena Gomez and Route 66 stuff!). She got one pair of shorts that don't fit right but will work until Tim gets off work and can take her to her favorite store, Aeropostale. All is now right in Gracie's world. She gets to go shopping, eat at Vejar's (Gag. I just did a baby barf), and to the movies tonight. Note to self: Next time you plan a trip away for 2 weeks, let Gracie bring a friend.

Today I had to take Ella to get her stitches out. Since I'm still not home, I had to either choose the ER or the walk-in clinic. I choose the walk-in. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. (That was my Pretty Woman impression. I know...uncanny.)

When we went in and went to sit in the only 3 chairs together, one of them had a drop of blood on it. Ohmigosh!! I'm no germ freak, but I suddenly felt the need to shower in hand sanitizer. Anyway...that was the least of my worries. I had to sit in that lovely waiting room, with 2 very restless girls, for nearly TWO HOURS. TWO FLIPPIN' HOURS, PEOPLE!!! OMGee. There was a guy sitting across the room that found my situation rather amusing. This other guy sitting directly across from me, apparently didn't, since after I said, "Oh my gosh! I'm going to have to start drinking early tonight!!" he got up and moved. I think he was in the wrong place. He needed to be at the police station filing a report on his missing sense of humor! I'm sorry, but how can you not laugh when a 4 year old little girl says, "I'm a SEXY BEAST!" Inappropriate? Maybe. Funny? Oh, heck yeah.

We finally got in and it was only a matter of minutes and we were done. The following is a video of the doctor removing the last couple stitches. (Had I had my wits about me when she got them to begin with, I would have video of that. But it's hard to get a picture from the floor.) But, this girl is amazing. No bribing. No sedation. No straps. Just her, being amazing.

Now, that my friends, is one strong little chica. And I'm one proud mama.

Wine Before Noon = No Whining From Mommy

Ok, so yesterday was better. Of course, wine tasting at 11am might have helped a little.

One thing I love about coming here is that you usually see the same people on every trip. The girls always make friends that they only see once or twice a year, but they always pick up right where they left off. I love it! Mia met up with some friends and they all came over here to watch a movie on our super cool outdoor projector. As if we, ourselves, weren't cool enough already, but throw in a an outdoor movie on the big screen and HOLLER. The Dodsons are now the Awesomes! Whoop!

Anyway. Tim got to talking to these girls parents and they asked if Mia could tag along with their girls on a wine tasting trip. Huh? Um...ok...let me get this straight. You want to take MY daughter with YOU for a day of WINE TASTING? I'm sorry, but Mia doesn't like wine. So, if you're taking anyone, you're taking ME!!! How about this...we leave all our kids (they have 3 girls, too) with Tim and you take ME...by myself. How about that?!?! But, it turns out there is a van that comes from a winery in the area and takes you to their tasting room where the parents try their hardest to get sloshed in a short hour, while the kids run wild through the vineyard unsupervised! All for FREE! And again I say, HOLLER! So, we all hopped into the wine wagon and away we went. I actually felt a little sorry for the childless couple that were already on the bus when we loaded up. Ok! Not really. Muahahahaha.

After the 5 wines I tasted went to my head, I talked Tim into buying a case as "hostess gifts" (wink, wink) and we came back. It was a nice hour. The rest of the day was good, too. Mia went to the beach with our new BFF's the Mones, Ella played like an angel on the playground and Gracie listened to Big Time Rush all afternoon. And, Tim and I both managed to get naps, too!! It was absolutely awesomeness. 

I heart Pismo.

Ahhh...What a Way to Relax!

So, here was the plan. Tuesday Tim and I brought the motor home to Pismo and spent the night and headed home at 5am (oh, good gracious...I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON) so he could go to work. I had a jeans party at my fab sis-in-law, Chantal's, house (rockin' party by the way...almost $900 sold and she signed up to sell, too! Yipee!!) on Wednesday night and the girls and I were to head back to Pismo on Thursday. Well, on Wednesday, the girls decided they wanted to stay for VBS on Thursday night, so the plan was changed to them staying with G'ma for the night and I was going to get one free, relaxing night alone in Pismo {{picture me doing a little happy dance, oh yeah, uh huh}}. I was beside myself with excitement. I was telling everyone I could, especially the ones I knew that would be jealous. And that, my friends, was the beginning of the end.

When I was headed home from the rockin' jeans party, I called Tim. He said Mia was at home, because she was pitching a fit about staying at G'ma's again. I knew right then, I would have at least one kid with me on my one free, relaxing night alone in Pismo. Ok. One. I can handle that. One won't fight with anyone. One will be content to watch TV and go to bed early. I can deal with one.

Thursday morning, I decide I better ask the other two if they still want to stay for VBS, just to be courteous. Ella was on the fence. She called about 5 times to tell me she was going. Then she wasn't. Then she was. Then she wasn't. Then she was...Ugh. Now, I have 2 kids coming along on my one free, relaxing night alone in Pismo. Two...um...ok, this is starting to suck. Two fight. Two.....fight. Two.........fight.

Then, the phone rings again. Yep...you guessed it! Goodbye free, relaxing night alone in Pismo! Hello...HELL! (Excuse the language, but that's pretty much what it turned into.)

We started over and quite honestly, the ride over wasn't bad. Have I mentioned how much I love the inventor of the car DVD player? He is my hero. Actually, SHE'S my hero, because it had to be a woman that think of something so genius...that has to do with keeping kids quiet in the car. Anyhoo...we made it here....

Then....I'm not even exaggerating here...we weren't here 10 minutes and Ella fell on the steps at the playground and busted her chin wide open. Ohmigoodness! I saw her do it and I was thinking it would amount to a nice bruise or at most, a small cut. As I was walking into the motorhome with her, Gracie caught a gander of it (gander...hehehe. that's a funny word), and she says, "Wow. That looks really bad." So, I got a good look. I swiftly sat her on the counter, got her a wet paper towel, told Gracie to stand with her and quickly sat down and put my head between my legs before I passed out (did I mention I'm horrible in crisis situations?Horr-i-ble!). The gash was nasty. If I had the strength, I should have measured it. I swear that thing was 1/4 inch wide. So, 5 stitches later....

{{I need to add that little Miss Ella was an A-MAZ-ING patient. The doctor and nurses were amazed. She laid there and didn't move a muscle. When the doctor was cleaning it out and numbing her she was telling them all about our dogs! I was crying because she was being so good. I don't know where she got the strength, because it wasn't from me!! However, she did inspire me a little. An amazing little girl she is!}}

When we got back to the motorhome, she ran right back out to the playground like nothing ever happened. Me on the other hand...I was a nervous wreck! But that goes without saying...

I just kept telling myself (ok, and I might have verbalized it to the girls, too) that this wouldn't have happened if I had just come alone! Anyhoo...I was wiped out from all the trauma and I agreed to let the girls have ice cream for dinner. I think they deserved it. Ella, for being an awesome patient, and the other girls for being patient with the patient! (They sat in the ER waiting room by themselves for at least an hour and managed to get along and not require any medical attention themselves! ) So, after their ice cream dinner and my Xanax and tequila cocktail (I'm kidding, I didn't have any tequila), we came in and tried to settle in for the night.

When we came in, can I just tell you they argued for a good 30 minutes over where they were going to sleep. Why? Why do they argue over everything? Today they were arguing over what Mia was going to name her kids and what those kids were going to call Gracie!! I'm dead serious. Mia wants to have 2 boys and name them Dillon and Bob (Bob? Really?) and she wants them to call Gracie Aunt Grace and Gracie said she didn't want a nephew named BOB and she thought Aunt Grace sounded stupid. I said, "Um...do you realize you're arguing about something that probably won't even happen for at least 20 years?!?!?! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!" PLEASE...give me a break!! No really. I'm begging for a break!!

So the rest of vaycay has gone a little like this:

Dog had to go out at 1:30am and has tried to bite two little girls.
I had an unexpected visitor that's a real *itch.
My sunglasses broke.
When I parked my car at Wal*Mart, I bumped the car in front of me. Yes...I did. Thank goodness there was no damage.
The steps on the motor home are broken and we have to use this scary little step stool to go in and out. (It's just a matter of time before we're back at the ER.)
Ella got a hold of the markers and now looks like Kat VonD.
Tim showed up and apparently he's on his period, too.

Ok, do you mind if I complain just a sec about Tim? He is a great husband and father, but he's just a little PMSy today. I wanted to lay down for a bit because I had cramps. He rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever...". Um, excuse me, but until YOU have experienced an actual menstrual period and all that goes with it, don't roll your eyes at me, Bucko. Then, I was outside with my dog and she saw some ducks and took off running and the leash slipped out of my hand. Mr. Smart @$$ says, "You know, Kimberly, when that leash gets pulled hard it's going to yank...and you have to hang onto it or it will slip out of your hands." I swear, one more SA remark and I'm going to poke him in the eyeball.

Listen, I'm just crabby and tired and feel like crap. All I wanted was one night to relax and spend some time alone. TWENTY FOUR HOURS. That's all I wanted. Heck, I'd settle for 18! Oh well...better luck next time.