Thank Goodness for Great Genes

So, right now I'm a little pudgier than I'd like to be. I'm still not big, by any means (just wanted to make that clear because I don't want anyone to think I have an eating disorder or something...), but my jeans are just a little tighter than I'd like them to be.

So, yesterday I decided to take the healthy route to weight loss. Starve myself. (Say what you want, but it can be effective!) Until last night, when the fam damily decided to get Olive Garden to go. I was at a meeting and I get this text from Grace, "What do you want from OG?" I typed in "Nothing", then I stared at for a couple minutes...deleted and typed in "That new pastry thing filled with cheese...". Of course, the plan was to only eat about a 1/3 of it and save it for lunch. LUCKILY, that new cheese filled pastry thing was no longer available, so they got me eggplant parmesan with fettucini alfredo on the side. Like that's much better...it's the Olive Garden. The only low cal thing there is water. Anyway...the plan was to still just eat 1/4 of it (I say 1/4 of the eggplant because there were 4 slices) and save some for today. So, I took it out of the to-go container (I usually eat straight out of it) and put my 1/4 portion on the plate and inhaled it (because I eat really fast). Then I said to myself, "well, I can have another 1/4, because that's still only 1/2..." (It's called rationalizing). So, I dished up another 1/4...then another...then another. Can you add fractions? If not...1/4 + 1/4 + 1/4 + 1/4 = A WHOLE. Ugh. Oh, and let's not forget the 2 bread sticks I ate to wipe the bowl clean. Good gracious....

Then last night I thought I was going to die. I had the worst pains in my upper abdomen. I felt like someone had taken a tank of helium and mistaken me for a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade float. And of course, one of my kids noticed it...and took time out of their busy evening to point it out. I was like, "I'M AWARE THAT I LOOK 6 MONTHS PREGNANT RIGHT NOW, you precious, precious child. Now get the heck out of my room!!!" {{Note to self: Get a deadbolt for the bedroom door.}} At one point the pain was so bad, I was curled up in a ball begging Tim to put me out of my misery.

Why...Why do I do that to myself. I have no off switch when it comes to food. I've mentioned it before, but it's the honest truth when I say I can eat more than Tim. We can go out to dinner, say to a steak house for instance, and I'll order an appetizer, have a salad, eat my entire steak, potato and veggie and dessert, too. No joke.

I guess I shouldn't complain about my weight and be thankful that I can eat the way I do, not exercise and still look like this....

I know...HOT right?

Thank goodness for great jeans...I mean genes.

*FYI: I'm being funny...I don't really think I'm hot. I know I am. Again...being funny!! Hahahahahahaha!!!

P.S. I've been taking a lot of flack for my butt pictures on facebook, so I thought I'd do an entire blog post about it. Ha. It's called sarcasm, people. Sarcasm.