So, here was the plan. Tuesday Tim and I brought the motor home to Pismo and spent the night and headed home at 5am (oh, good gracious...I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON) so he could go to work. I had a jeans party at my fab sis-in-law, Chantal's, house (rockin' party by the way...almost $900 sold and she signed up to sell, too! Yipee!!) on Wednesday night and the girls and I were to head back to Pismo on Thursday. Well, on Wednesday, the girls decided they wanted to stay for VBS on Thursday night, so the plan was changed to them staying with G'ma for the night and I was going to get one free, relaxing night alone in Pismo {{picture me doing a little happy dance, oh yeah, uh huh}}. I was beside myself with excitement. I was telling everyone I could, especially the ones I knew that would be jealous. And that, my friends, was the beginning of the end.
When I was headed home from the rockin' jeans party, I called Tim. He said Mia was at home, because she was pitching a fit about staying at G'ma's again. I knew right then, I would have at least one kid with me on my one free, relaxing night alone in Pismo. Ok. One. I can handle that. One won't fight with anyone. One will be content to watch TV and go to bed early. I can deal with one.
Thursday morning, I decide I better ask the other two if they still want to stay for VBS, just to be courteous. Ella was on the fence. She called about 5 times to tell me she was going. Then she wasn't. Then she was. Then she wasn't. Then she was...Ugh. Now, I have 2 kids coming along on my one free, relaxing night alone in Pismo. Two...um...ok, this is starting to suck. Two fight. Two.....fight. Two.........fight.
Then, the phone rings again. Yep...you guessed it! Goodbye free, relaxing night alone in Pismo! Hello...HELL! (Excuse the language, but that's pretty much what it turned into.)
We started over and quite honestly, the ride over wasn't bad. Have I mentioned how much I love the inventor of the car DVD player? He is my hero. Actually, SHE'S my hero, because it had to be a woman that think of something so genius...that has to do with keeping kids quiet in the car. Anyhoo...we made it here....
Then....I'm not even exaggerating here...we weren't here 10 minutes and Ella fell on the steps at the playground and busted her chin wide open. Ohmigoodness! I saw her do it and I was thinking it would amount to a nice bruise or at most, a small cut. As I was walking into the motorhome with her, Gracie caught a gander of it (gander...hehehe. that's a funny word), and she says, "Wow. That looks really bad." So, I got a good look. I swiftly sat her on the counter, got her a wet paper towel, told Gracie to stand with her and quickly sat down and put my head between my legs before I passed out (did I mention I'm horrible in crisis situations?Horr-i-ble!). The gash was nasty. If I had the strength, I should have measured it. I swear that thing was 1/4 inch wide. So, 5 stitches later....
{{I need to add that little Miss Ella was an A-MAZ-ING patient. The doctor and nurses were amazed. She laid there and didn't move a muscle. When the doctor was cleaning it out and numbing her she was telling them all about our dogs! I was crying because she was being so good. I don't know where she got the strength, because it wasn't from me!! However, she did inspire me a little. An amazing little girl she is!}}
When we got back to the motorhome, she ran right back out to the playground like nothing ever happened. Me on the other hand...I was a nervous wreck! But that goes without saying...
I just kept telling myself (ok, and I might have verbalized it to the girls, too) that this wouldn't have happened if I had just come alone! Anyhoo...I was wiped out from all the trauma and I agreed to let the girls have ice cream for dinner. I think they deserved it. Ella, for being an awesome patient, and the other girls for being patient with the patient! (They sat in the ER waiting room by themselves for at least an hour and managed to get along and not require any medical attention themselves! ) So, after their ice cream dinner and my Xanax and tequila cocktail (I'm kidding, I didn't have any tequila), we came in and tried to settle in for the night.
When we came in, can I just tell you they argued for a good 30 minutes over where they were going to sleep. Why? Why do they argue over everything? Today they were arguing over what Mia was going to name her kids and what those kids were going to call Gracie!! I'm dead serious. Mia wants to have 2 boys and name them Dillon and Bob (Bob? Really?) and she wants them to call Gracie Aunt Grace and Gracie said she didn't want a nephew named BOB and she thought Aunt Grace sounded stupid. I said, "Um...do you realize you're arguing about something that probably won't even happen for at least 20 years?!?!?! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!" PLEASE...give me a break!! No really. I'm begging for a break!!
So the rest of vaycay has gone a little like this:
Dog had to go out at 1:30am and has tried to bite two little girls.
I had an unexpected visitor that's a real *itch.
My sunglasses broke.
When I parked my car at Wal*Mart, I bumped the car in front of me. Yes...I did. Thank goodness there was no damage.
The steps on the motor home are broken and we have to use this scary little step stool to go in and out. (It's just a matter of time before we're back at the ER.)
Ella got a hold of the markers and now looks like Kat VonD.
Tim showed up and apparently he's on his period, too.
Ok, do you mind if I complain just a sec about Tim? He is a great husband and father, but he's just a little PMSy today. I wanted to lay down for a bit because I had cramps. He rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever...". Um, excuse me, but until YOU have experienced an actual menstrual period and all that goes with it, don't roll your eyes at me, Bucko. Then, I was outside with my dog and she saw some ducks and took off running and the leash slipped out of my hand. Mr. Smart @$$ says, "You know, Kimberly, when that leash gets pulled hard it's going to yank...and you have to hang onto it or it will slip out of your hands." I swear, one more SA remark and I'm going to poke him in the eyeball.
Listen, I'm just crabby and tired and feel like crap. All I wanted was one night to relax and spend some time alone. TWENTY FOUR HOURS. That's all I wanted. Heck, I'd settle for 18! Oh well...better luck next time.
2 comments:
Oh poor Ella!! Buy some $20 Medermma at Target :) It works wonders on scars. Hope you get some relaxing soon!
All of these stressful situations are funny since I get to read about them and not live them - for once. Seriously though, you are having the time of your life. It just ticks away and before you know it your little girls are all grown up and gone... It is wonderful that you put all of this everyday living to print. Then in the years to come you can always re-visit and remember the joy - and pains!!!!!
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