My Poor Sheltered Children. How Will They Ever Survive in this Cruel World?

Here's the deal. My kids are sheltered. I admit it. And honestly, I'm okay with it. I have no problem with the fact that my 13 year old daughter's TV viewing is limited to Disney and Nick. Honestly, sometimes Nick even pushes my limits. But for the most part, it's all good clean fun, that the entire family can watch together.

That 13 year old, Gracie? Well, she is who she is. She's different. She's a good girl. And she LOVES who she is. She make a look a mess, but she's got it together. If I had a dollar for everytime I recieved a compliment on her from an adult with younger kids, I could send her to Harvard. Younger girls like her because she's not afraid to be a kid and be goofy. She respects them and treats them like people, not annoying younger kids, like most girls her age would (with the exception of her younger sister...who she treats like a doormat).She doesn't wear makeup and has no desire to...in fact, when I make her for a special event, she has a tantrum and I have to pin her down and force her to. She doesn't care too much about her clothes. Tees and jeans are just fine with her. If she's comfortable, she's good. Her hair...well, don't get me started on that kid's hair.

She's special. She's a sweet girl (to others, not so much to me) and she's pretty innocent (some might call her prude). She doesn't use bad language. When we hear songs with the word "hell" or "damn" in it, we either turn it down or yell "HECK" and "DANG" to shelter the other two as much as possible. She has no desire to watch things she knows are inappropriate. She was recently reading the book Wicked and voluntarily stopped because some of the contents made her uncomfortable. She knows a lot about "life"...because I've told her and I continue to keep her informed as I feel necessary. She knows she can come to me and talk about anything...and she does. If you're reading this, and you have kids in school with Gracie, chances are, I know things about your kids you'd never expect. She's an open book.

Today, when I was complimenting her on what great character she had, she started crying and said sometimes she felt like she shouldn't be herself because kids at school made fun of her all the time because she doesn't watch anything rated higher than PG-13 or listen to explicit music, as if that's something to be ashamed of.

I have spent a lot of time with these kids Gracie goes to school with. I know their parents. I also know that a lot of these kids parents would be appalled if they knew how thier kids acted at school towards other kids and what they talked about. Sex seems to be a big topic of conversation. I was told that you can rarely say anything that most of them don't twist into something sexual. And the languange...ugh. I'm not saying I have the cleanest mouth around because I say my share of  colorful words, but the "F" word is one I HATE. It's disgusting. I even hate when people just insinuate it, with "Effing". I hate the expression WTF or LMFAO. All disgusting. I admit to saying freakin' and friggin', but never the real "F" word. Oh no way. Yet, again...it seems to be a favorite among 8th graders. The word and signs that go with it.

I'm curious...how many of you parents of young kids have actually sat down and watched Pretty Little Liars or Secret Life with your kids? Two huge shows that I hear kids talking about all the time and how they're so excited when it comes on. Did you know what in Pretty Little Liars, one of the teen/high school girls was having a sexual relationship with one of her teachers? One girl is a lesbian and had quite the relationship with another girl. They are often drinking and partying, too. And...they're all still in high school...all while dressing like hookers. Great message, don'tcha think?

And what about Secret Life? That circle of friends just keep passing each other around, like a joint. One couple even has a baby and now they're LIVING together...and are still in high school. Now call me crazy, but I just don't see this as a message we need to be sending to our young kids. Just because some of this stuff really happens, doesn't mean our kids need to be watching it. They're brains aren't fully developed and they are so impressionable. They love the way these kids look and interact like adults, all while just being a few years older than them. They feel they can relate to these characters. This is why I like Disney's Good Luck Charlie. Awesome show about a family of 6 where the parents are actually involved in their kids lives and the kids make normal kid mistakes.

Anyway...the moral of this story is: If you have a young, impressionable teen, how about talking to them about kid stuff and encouraging them to stay young as long as they can because, in all honesty, being a grown up isn't always fun, so why would you want to rush it? Oh, and tell your kid to stop making fun of my kid because she has amazing morals and values and has more potential in her pinky finger than most do in their entire body.

That is all....

*I didn't proof this one either...so sue me.*

Will they ever get it? It's Stoopid!!

Can someone please explain to me what the saggin' pants is all about? Seriously. What's the deal?!?! I read that it was started in prison by inmates that wanted to advertise "themselves", if you know what I mean. That killed me. I wanted to so bad to tell all those "Bieber Boys" (because Justin is a sagger) that they were just advertising their @$$e$ were open for business, but then my bubble was burst when I went to Snopes and read that it was all bunk. But it makes sense? What other purpose would it serve?

 Seems like it use to just be the gang bangers that did it, but now everyone is doing it! (I'm probably going to tick some people off right now), but it boils my blood when I see one of my young, straight-laced, white, family members doing it and acting like they're not. "Hey, (enter the name of said straight-laced, white, family members), I see your chonies. Pull your pants up." "Huh? Oh. They're not that low. I've just lost a few pounds and they're a little big on me now, that's all..." Sure...that's it. That's why you have a belt on and it's hitting you about mid- butt cheek and has 2 holes left in it.

I really, really, really hate when they have their whole flippin' @$$ showing and their belt BELOW their butt cheeks. Come on. What's the point of wearing pants?!?! If I had to choose my favorite saggin' look it would be the skinny jeans with the crotch mid-calf...I mean mid-thigh, because at least they sort of stay up on their own. It's the ones that are so huge that when they run they have to hold them and limp to keep them up. Or that super sexy walk they do where they have a huge stride and then dip every couple of steps. That is so cool. Oh, how I wish Tim was like that.

So have you seen a picture of Justin Bieber lately? I saw one not long ago of him on stage and I was appalled at how saggy his pants were. And his ears are pierced, too. And he has tattoos. And sometimes he wears those super huge sweatshirts and jackets. What's that about? He's got bundles of money and he can't afford to buy clothes that fit and has to borrow from his 400 pound security guard? Weird.

How do these skateboarders/bike rider stunt guys do it? I mean, don't you need a lot of mobility to do those stunts? Probably why there are so many skateboarding/bike accidents. I bet if they did a study, they would find that skaters/bikers wearing tight fitting exercise pants had less falls that those in saggy pants. (Hey...I think I just came up with Mia's science fair project for next year!)

Don't you think they're going to have some back and hip problems? Ah-ha! Light bulb! Some ortopedic surgeon came up with the trend to ensure he was never short of patients.

Hey, what if we started pantsing all these guys. Would we end up in jail? Or worse, shot? When are they going to get the picture that it's not cool and no one but them likes it? I've never, ever heard anyone ever say, "Oh, I love when guys sag their pants. It's so sexy." Never, ever heard it, unless it was sarcasm. Have you? I didn't think so. We need to start a revolution.

Say NO to saggin'!

~I'm tired and I didn't even proof read, correct spelling or use bold or italic for emphasis. I apologize. Maybe I'll edit tomorrow...~

FDA: Facebook Displays of Affection

First of all...I must apologize for my long hiatus. My sister sent me a text a couple weeks ago that said, "your blog is dead to me". Oops. I've been busy and not motivated, until, yesterday...when I was standing in the lobby at Encore Theatre and someone...someone I didn't know...said to me, "do you write a blog?" Ohmigosh!! I'd just been recognized in public!! And to sweeten the pot even more...SHE LIKED IT!! She said...and I quote..."You are frickin' hilarious!" After the week I'd had, I so very much needed that! So, thank you....You...who's name I didn't bother to get. This blog's for you.

The other day I vowed that my next post would be about the lovey, dovey, mushy, gushy couples on face book. So, here we go...

Lovey, dovey, mush, gush, gag! OK. OK. Let me make myself clear. I think it's great that you love each other and want everyone to know. I, personally, prefer to let my 'luva' (haha! Luva...my new nickname for Tim) know in the privacy of our own home.

I'm not a fan of PDA. I do remember those days when we could hardly keep our hands off each other, but at some point you grow out of that, right? I mean, most people learn, with age, how to control their hormones while in public. When you're young and in lust, it's one thing...but when you're mature and have children, it needs to stop. If that was your kid and their boyfriend/girlfriend would you be ok with it? I think not, unless you're sick and twisted. It's just like anything else...we must set an example. Oh, here's an idea! If you feel you MUST constantly show your love for your spouse, do something kind for them, like take out the trash without being nagged, or put the kids to bed without being nagged, or pick up your laundry without being nagged, or don't make disgusting noises at the dinner table, or do something about your snoring so that we might get a good night's sleep. Or maybe not call every single time you see the debit card has been used...let a little (or sometimes medium, ok, big) spending spree at Target slide once in a while. It's not like I'm at Sax Fifth Avenue or anything. Geez. It's the little, unspoken things that get me all reved up.

I don't need you hanging all over me and grabbin' my boooooooo...ty for everyone to see. I don't need fancy rings or things...Just give me cash and I'll be happy...(hey I think I just came up with country music's newest hit)! No, but seriously...I don't need to SEE your love for each other and nor do my kids, thank you very much. It makes me barf...

Just like as I don't want to see it, nor, do I care to read about it...FDA (aka Face book Displays of Affection) it's just weird. Seriously? You're married. Chances are you're sharing the couch and the bed and sometimes even the same spit! Oh, and if you have a family plan, then you share the same cell phone bill, too. Send a text, it's gotta be easier than going into face book, finding their profile and then posting on their wall for all to read, (and baby barf). "Oh, I love you so much. You light up my life. You give me hope to carry on. You light up my days, and fill my nights...with..." With what? You know what? I DON'T CARE! But I do wonder why? Why must you do this? Are you trying to prove to everyone that you still love each other? Are you being suspected of cheating and trying to throw everyone off by making mushy comments on your spouses wall? I just don't understand why you have to publicly tell your spouse how they make certain body parts tingle more than others. I'm glad you think you're wife is hot, or yummy, or so beautiful the way her eyes dance in the candle light (gagging right now). As long as she knows, and your kids are aware you still love each other, then who the heck else cares? NOT ME!!!

Hey! Guess what? Tim still thinks I'm H-O-T, baby. That's right. He does...and the only reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to know, that I know, that I'm loved, just the way I am. Rolls, wrinkles and all. And I don't need him to announce on public radio or national television or take out an ad on Craig's List, that he thinks so. He can just tell me. Or kiss me on the forehead. Or give me a big bear hug when he comes home from work. All things that remind ME and OUR kids, and no one else, how much he loves me and is still attracted to me.

I'd like to think of this blog post as an advice column. If you're a serial PDA'er or FDA'er, take the knowledge you have obtained here and apply it to your life and maybe, just maybe, you can spare the lives of some of your friends, from drowning in your mushiness.

**Hope there aren't too many typos, but I was trying to type this with Ella home...which is NEVER a good idea. NEVER. But dang, she's cute!**